Saturday, March 31, 2012

Impact Wrestling 03/29/12 Report

Welcome to your TNA Impact Wrestling Report for March 29th 2012. On this night, we’ll find out of Hulk Hogan will have accepted the offer to become General Manager of Impact Wrestling. Also high impact tag team action, when James Storm and the TNA X-Division Champion Austin Aries takes on Bully Ray and the TNA World Champion Bobby Roode. Time to recap all of the highlights as we watch TNA Impact Wrestling 3/29/12.

TNA Impact Wrestling Report 3/29/12

Dixie Carter opens up the show to inform us that Hulk Hogan will be making his decision.
Bobby Roode is out, with his flunky, restating that he doesn’t have to defend his title until Lockdown or even show up. He does the classic heel move of saying that the security is there to protect Storm and not vice versa. James Storm is out, promising to beat down Roode but before that happens, Bully Ray thunders out and attacks James Storm. Storm fights off Bully Ray and Roode decides to book it. Storm challenges both men to a match tonight. Storm is ready for a fight.

Velvet Sky defeated Madison Rayne

Yes, this match again. It was what you would expect. Velvet Sky picks up the win and she’ll be next in line for the Knockout’s Title Shot. She never got her return match. Of all of the times TNA to remember something like this. Well that match will be something.

Bully Ray and Bobby Roode are plotting to take care ofStorm

Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan are right in the back. She said that when Hogan came to TNA, she was all on board, but there was something about Eric Bischoff that she didn’t trust. Yet she allowed him into her company. The real Hulk Hogan is back. There’s nothing real about Hulk Hogan…ever. She needs Hogan to save TNA, to fix TNA. Did I fall into a worm hole and end up back into 2010? Hogan will think about it.

A recap of the break up of Matt Morgan and Crimson

Kurt Angle doesn’t want another match with Jeff Hardy but will give him one, should be pick up the win over Mr. Anderson later tonight.

Austin Aries is out, he has a problem with Bully Ray. I kind of have a problem with this babyface turn, because I remember babyface Aries in Ring of Honor. He is the X-Division Champion, the longest reigning champion of all time, and tonight, he’ll team with James Storm to take on Bully Ray and Bobby Roode.

Matt Morgan and Crimson battled to a double countout
Brawly brawly brawl brawl throughout this match, with smash mouth power moves, a slobber knocker, that ends with both Matt Morgan and Crimson getting double counted out. Then they brawl some more. Likely setting up a match for Lockdown between these two men.

Joseph Park is still on the hunt for his brother, but is finding no luck.

Mr. Anderson defeated Jeff Hardy
One on one, these two men have fought a few times on Pay Per View back in 2011. This is a babyface versus babyface match as well, at least I think. Kurt Angle interferes, sending Jeff Hardy right into the post and Mic check gets the pin.

The return of the Motor City Machine Guns will take place next week.

ODB and Eric Young fun and games, with a wedding planner and the happy couple will be getting married in a steel cage three days on the Impact before Lockdown. Well given how a steel cage has never been able to keep any interference out in TNA previously and there have been disqualifications in cage matches…

We are out for our Garrett Bischoff segment with Eric Bischoff making Gunner versus Garrett Bischoff. I assume that there may be no Lethal Lockdown this year, because that would be a good way to hide the weaknesses of young Mr. Bischoff. It will be Gunner against Garrett Bischoff this time in a cage.

Austin Aries and James Storm defeated Bully Ray and Bobby Roode
For the time this got, this was a pretty fair tag team main event. Bobby Roode tries to spit beer at Storm but it is avoided and James Storm decks the Bully with the Last Call for the pin. James Storm is ready for the TNA Championship match at Lockdown against Bobby Roode but who cares about the long awaited by many true TNA fans title match, because we’ve got Hulk Hogan making his decision.

Dixie Carter is out to call out Hulk Hogan. Hogan says that he isn’t proud of a lot of the things he’s done. Trying to defraud Dixie out of the company, joining up with Bischoff, making that sex tape…you know the drill. Okay he didn’t say the last one but I know he was thinking it. Sting brings out the TNA babyfaces, who are to beg Hogan to take them to the promise land. The only think this segment was missing were people dropping to their knees and sucking Hogan’s big red and yellow….python. Hulk Hogan accepts and my digestive track accepts the inability to keep down any food.

And that’s it. Show wasn’t bad, even if Hulk Hogan has to get his ego stroked on like television in the year 2012. At least we didn’t have all of the main heels line up and start taking bumps off of that old man, but we’ve got to save something for later I suppose.

TNA Impact Wrestling 3/29/12
Velvet Sky defeated Madison Rayne
Crimson battled Matt Morgan to a double countout.
Mr. Anderson defeated Jeff Hardy
Austin Aries and James Storm defeated Bully Ray and Bobby Roode

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