WWE RAW Report 3-19-12

Welcome to your WWE RAW Report on March 19^th 2012, thirteen days and counting before Wrestlemania 28. On this show, Mark Henry takes on John Cena and also Triple H, the Undertaker, and Shawn Michaels were all going to be in the house. Time to sit down and discuss all of the highlights of WWE RAW 3/19/12

WWE RAW Report 3/19/12

We kick things off proper with CM Punk. Punk talks about the bombshell that Jericho dropped last night, and he says he’s not going to let his family’s past dictate his future. Despite it all, he is proud of his father and he is not going to take things lying down, he’s going to prove. Chris Jericho pops up via satellite. Jericho apologizes for bringing up family secrets, then he brings up that Punk’s sister is a drug addict. He suggests that Punk is going to be just like them but that’s okay, as addictions can be overcome but a beating from Chris Jericho cannot. Oh that was a good one. Punk calls Jericho a piece of s*** and says that he’ll beat Jericho. Well that got things heated. A good promo and really did amp up the interest for this match.

Cody Rhodes presents some embarrassing moments throughout the career of Big Show.

Kane defeated the Big Show

They’ve been the best of friends, they’ve been the worst of enemies. Cody Rhodes distracts Big Show and Kane choke slams him off of the ropes to score the pin. It was what it was.

Cody Rhodes handcuffs the Big Show and beats on him, severely. Show is beaten up and freed. Given that all that is happened, Big Show has to destroy Cody Rhodes, but I have no idea if he fits the Intercontinental Title.

David Otunga defeated Santino Marella

The captains for the Team Teddy versus Team Johnny match at Survivor Series do battle tonight on WWE RAW. Santino assaults the cell phone of John Laurinaitis when it enters the ring and gets hit with the Verdict for the pin. They’re really getting behind David Otunga. He’s got the it factor. I’m not sure what it is and I’m not sure WWE does either.

Teddy slaps Johnny Boy.

A video shown featuring a new character, called Lord Tensai. Or as you might know him A-TRAIN! Seriously, no one believes anything anyone writes on Twitter anymore, especially denials.

The Rock is by a statue of Rocky Balboa, talking about his legacy and the night he lost to Stone Cold Steve Austin in Philadelphia. The Rock can apparently see John Cena. He promises to beat John Cena at Wrestlemania 28. Standard greatness by the Rock, even if it is not par to his prime. Still fifty percent Rock is still better than ninety percent of the locker room, so people who hate the Rock one hundred and forty seven percent don’t know what they are talking about.

Daniel Bryan defeated Zack Ryder

The buzz on the Zack Attack is dead, broskis, but it was a good ride while it lasted. Even if it wasn’t much of one. Ryder gets some offense but the Ruff Ryder is avoided and LaBell Lock is applied.

John Cena defeated Mark Henry

Cena fresh off of his car wreck, has a halfway decent match against Mark Henry. Next week, we should have John Cena do death defying stunts without aid of a net, since WWE seems so determined to flaunt themselves right in front of Murphy. Attitude Adjustment gets the win after a failed attempt. Then the Rock takes out Mark Henry with the Rock Bottom. Come on man, did the Nation of Domination mean nothing to you? That was sacred.

We’ll have Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly against Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres. There has been a twitter war between Beth and Maria, because this is reasonable fodder for a wrestling feud in 2012. It would be just like in the Attitude Era, if someone had a feud over some cross comments over AOL Instant Messenger or something.

Miz is out. He’s about to go through the greatest fall from grace in Wrestlemania history worse than King Kong Bundy. I would say that Sid would be up there too, going from Wrestlemania main event to unemployed in a year not once but twice. That takes mad skills. Then again Softball is a dangerous vice. Miz wants another change at redemption to show John Laurinaitis that he is worthy of being on this team. Here is Sheamus.

Sheamus defeated the Miz

The Miz naturally loses as Sheamus is going to be in the opening match main event of Wrestlemania this year. Sheamus connects with the Brogue Kick, one, two, three, see you Miz. Maybe you’ll make the dark match battle royal.

Randy Orton is out to talk about Kane. Orton plans to take down Kane, because his name is Randy Orton.

The two newest members of Team Johnny is Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger as introduced by Vickie Guerrero.

Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger defeated Kofi Kingston and R-Truth

A fairly good tag team match, with Ziggler taking down Truth for the pin, and Vickie knocking Truth’s foot off of the ropes so Ziggler can score the pin. Aksana goes after Vickie and we have a catfight.

Recap of Triple H using the Tombstone to beat Dolph Ziggler in Madison Square Garden.

Shawn Michaels is out. The End of an Era might as well be the End of the Streak. The Undertaker is out, and warns once again about Shawn Michaels and Triple H making plans, secret plans perhaps. Out comes Triple H is out, to assure us that it is all about Triple H and the Undertaker. Together they have been in 19 of the 24 Hell in a Cell Matches. It will be the end of an era but Undertaker asks Triple H if he is willing to gamble everything to end of the streak. Triple H says that he is. Undertaker says that Shawn is still better than Triple H. Hunter is none too pleased and that is the show.

Well it was quite a ho hum show sandwiched between a couple of good enough promos. Hopefully the go home show will be something.  

WWE RAW Results 3/19/12

Kane defeated the Big Show.

David Otunga defeated Santino Marella.

Daniel Bryan defeated Zack Ryder

Sheamus defeated The Miz

Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger defeated Kofi Kingston and R-Truth