Tuesday, April 10, 2012

WWE RAW Review 04/09/12

Monday night is here and we have got RAW just one week removed after the huge return of Brock Lesnar. In our main event tonight, the WWE Champion CM Punk will be putting his championship on the line against Mark Henry. Also the Three Stooges will be guest hosting RAW. Well in a matter of speaking at least. Let's not waste any time with idle chit chat, let's review WWE RAW for April 9th 2012, with all of the results and recaps.

WWE RAW Review April 9th 2012

We re live and in living color from Washington DC, for another edition of WWE RAW. "YES!" signs appear to be present, which means it won't be going out of the way.

Here's Johnny! And John Laurinaitis is here to introduce the new face of World Wrestling Entertainment, the man who will lead us to the promised land, that being Brock Lesnar. Brock Motherf***ing Lesnar makes his way down to the ring. Lesnar thanks Johnny Boy for bringing him back and for making the WWE legit. However it must be opposite day, because the actual opposite of legit comes out, that being John Cena. We have a brawl and Brock Lesnar screws up John Cena in the most glorious way, by punching him right in the mouth. Wrestlers pour out to seperate these two men as things have gotten real. Well as real as World Wrestling Entertainment can get. Cena asks how he looks but it should be noted that he can only laugh it off for so long.  And RAW is just getting started. 

Johnny is yelling at Teddy, saying that it is his fault that John Cena came out. Of course, that's just like pretty much like every major executive in any corporation. Eve tries to cozy up to Laurinaitis but he has business to attend to.  

The epic tag team match that was set up last week, with Santino Marella and Brodus Clay against Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler set up this week's show.  

Brodus Clay and Santino Marella defeated Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

Funk is still on a roll tonight on RAW. A rather fun tag team encounter all things considered. Santino is trapped in the ring by the dastardly heels  Brodus Clay hot tags and runs wild. Man sized Brodus Clay exploder suplex, sets up a huge splash and Dolph Ziggler gets pinned. Might as well put the tag belts on these two men. It is not like the tag team belts are something that is serious.

It is on between John Cena and Brock Lesnar but tonight John Cena is here and itching for a fight. And a fight he shall get against David Otunga. 

Santino Marella is on the hunt for the Three Stooges. This can only end in tears. 

R-Truth defeated Cody Rhodes

I have not had the slightest idea what happened to Cody Rhodes after Wrestlemania 28 but he loses a rather quick match to R-Truth, after the Big Show distracted him by playing highlights. Barely enough to be worth anything. 

Santino and the Three Stooges have wackiness backstage. 

Lord Tensai defeated Yoshi Tatsu

Yay, Yoshi is on RAW! However, he is just squash fodder for Lord Tensai, who destroys him with the Baldo Bomb, causing the referee to stop the match. Then he puts on the deadly claw. Another victim for Lord Tensai tonight on RAW.  

CM Punk was violently assaulted by Chris Jericho but there is no rest for the wicked, as CM Punk puts the WWE Championship on the line against Mark Henry later tonight on RAW. 

Another recap and here is CM Punk. Punk is none too happy about how Jericho has been crossing lines week after week, bringing up his father, sister, and mother. Jericho is out, suggesting that Punk is falling right off of the Straight Edge wagon. Watch it Jericho. He is called CM Drunk, which rolls off the tongue much better than CM Sucks, John Cena. Punk promises a beating to Jericho but first he has to deal with Mark Henry and that match is next. 

Mark Henry defeated CM Punk via disqualification

Punk busts Henry right in the face with a monitor for the disqualification but Henry then utterly murders Punk. This allows Jericho to come out and beat up Punk, and pour beer all over him. Well you knew we were going there. This is the same company that had Stone Cold Steve Austin pour beer all over Scott Hall when he was trying to stop drinking. Yeah I know, but I did say try. And not saying that no one's arm was twisted with this storyline. Jericho nails Punk with another Codebreaker for good measure. 

Alberto Del Rio defeated Zack Ryder

Well the dream is dead with Zack Ryder. Ryder gets a brief flurry of offensive but it is just set up for Alberto Del Rio taking him down and tapping him out with the Cross armbreaker.   

Here come the Three Stooges, well first Moe and Larry, and then Curly. This segment is paid off by Kane, leaving Curly to take the abuse. Well at least that has not changed. Kane Choke Slams Curly. I just have a very bad feeling about this Three Stooges movie, as a fan of the original Three Stooges. 

Mark Henry promises the destruction of CM Punk as next week on RAW it is no countouts and no disqualification. They're building this throwaway television feud with Mark Henry and CM Punk a lot better than many other actual feuds in wrestling. 

That Brock Lesnar does not play well with others. 

Recap of the End of the Era between Triple H and Undertaker. As I suspected, that was a "watch when it is live and it is awesome, watch a second time and not as good" matches. 

John Cena defeated David Otunga

Typical Cena special, with the heel beating on him but Cena fighting out from underneath, with the STF. The real fun occurs after the match, with Brock Lesnar utterly wrecking John Cena with a low blow and the F-5. For the second week in a row, Brock Lesnar stands tall over John Cena. 

Some solid storylines on this show but not much more than that. 

Past RAW Recaps and Reviews


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