Tuesday, June 12, 2012

WWE RAW 06/11/12 Review

WWE RAW for June 11th 2012 featured Mr. McMahon returning to give John Laurinaitis a job performance evaluation. Plus A.J. and CM Punk take on Kane and Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston squares off against the Big Show inside of the confines of a steel cage match. Let us sit back and watch WWE RAW 6/11/12 as I review all of the highlights.

WWE RAW 6/11/12

First the results of WWE RAW for June 11th 2012.

WWE RAW 6/11/12 Results

Vince McMahon warns John Laurinaitis that every match better be a blow away or he's out the door.

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus defeated Tensai

Ricardo Rodiguez and Beth Phoenix defeated Santino Marella and Layla.

Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, and Kane have a segment. A.J. comes out as well. Johnny makes Punk and A.J against Daniel Bryan and Kane.

Dolph Ziggler became the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title over The Great Khali, Jack Swagger, and Christian.

Ryback destroys Rutheford PS Hayes and William Fillimore.

Big Show defeated Kofi Kingston in a steel cage match.

Sin Cara pinned Curt Hawkins.

Vader returned to defeat Heath Slater.

A.J. and CM Punk defeated Daniel Bryan and Kane.

The show ended with Vince McMahon saying that if Show is a disappointment, Johnny is fired, and Show ends up knocking out Mr. McMahon in a brawl with Cena.
WWE RAW 6/11/12 Report

Three hour RAW. I have my sedative on hand in case this show gets out of line.

Here's Johnny! And here's Mr. McMahon to do the job performance review. Some back and forth, with John Laurinaitis trying to compare himself to Mr. McMahon. Vince McMahon declares that the Big Show has not performed well since 1999. Ouch. Sheamus is out. He says that Johnny holds a vendetta and brings up the half of a million dollar fine. Twitter is mentioned as #FireJohnny is trending worldwide. Johnny is being watched closely and if he doesn't live up to snuff with the matches he makes tonight, Vince McMahon is going to fire up the catchphrase. In a great moment, Vince McMahon uses the scooter a bit and dumps it.

The Great Khali chopping Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown is used as the official reason why Del Rio has a concussion and will not be facing Sheamus at No Way Out. Which may be a cursed card at this point given what happened with Jericho, Orton, and now Del Rio.

Sheamus defeated Tensai

The blood has fallen right off of the rose for Tensai. Now we have a pretty good match after the push is gone. We in the business call that Drew McIntyre affect where the guy's talent goes up as his push decreases. Solid power man match with Sheamus giving the Brogue Kick on Tensai to score the pin.

Fatal Four Way Match between Great Khali, Christian, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger, the winner getting a title shot later tonight. They're all former World Heavyweight Champions. My God, they're right and that might be all that's left to be put in line for a title shot on the active roster. Smackdown has such a horrific roster its not even funny.

Tensai beats up Sakamoto to continue the next step of the repackaging.

Big Show knocks out R-Truth because he's a big angry giant. Although he is a big angry giant with style, as his knockout punch hit R-Truth with style.

Ricardo Rodiguez and Beth Phoenix defeated Santino Marella and Layla

Absurdity at its finest. And I mean that in the good way. Beth Phoenix picks the WWE Diva's Champion with the Glam Slam, likely setting up a match. Then Santino beats up Ricardo and he has a Justin Bieber t-shirt on. Meh, my distaste with the Bieber was so six months ago.

David Otunga is here and he's trying to get into Vince McMahon's good books. Vince doesn't like lawyers. I figured about as much. Kofi Kingston wants the Big Show and we'll have the Big Show against Kofi Kingston in a Steel Cage.

Daniel Bryan is out to have a chat. He claims that CM Punk and Kane are both distracted by A.J. Here comes Punk, who points out that for someone who says to be done with A.J., Bryan is talking a lot about her. The man has a point. Punk promises to put Daniel Bryan to sleep and here comes Kane, who reminds us all that he has done some wicked things and he is a wicked man.

A.J. is out and she's well kind of crazy still. Not that there's anything wrong with that. May the best man win. Here's Johnny. In the interest of people power, we're going to have CM Punk and A.J. against Daniel Bryan and Kane. Fun segment right there.

Dolph Ziggler became the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship over the Great Khail, Jack Swagger, and Christian

Four way dance, given Elimination rules apply. Everyone beats up Khali and eliminates him. Khali is sad at this point, he can barely move. And then Ziggler finishes off Swagger. Then we have a nice little match between Christian and Ziggler, but the ending is in doubt. Dolph Ziggler has become the number one contender by virtue of pretty much everyone on Smackdown dropping dead. Zig Zag pins Christian. Ziggler and Sheamus will likely be good but Ziggler's not winning that title.

Some wackiness with Vince McMahon, Natalya, Brodus Clay's dancing girls, and Zack Ryder. It was what it was.

Ryback defeated Ruthford PS Hayes and Willim Filmore

Squash by Ryback.

Vince McMahon gives Hornswoggle some pointers on his JR Impression. John Cena comes in and Vince and Cena chat, with Cena suggesting Vince use those two magic words. David Otunga pops up again and Vince expresses his distaste any anyone who would pucker up and kiss anyone right in the posterior, not meaning any offense to William Regal who is just hanging out.

The Big Show defeated Kofi Kingston in a Steel Cage Match

Showcase match for Show but it kind of dragged. To make a long and painful story short, Big Show nailed the WMD and casually walked out of the door.

Sin Cara defeated Curt Hawkins

Yeah that was rather random. Another showcase, this time for Sin Cara. This RAW is dragging out a lot. Sin Cara picks up the win. Three hours of this show every week starting on July 23rd. That thought continues to send me into misery and woe.

Meeting between Vince McMahon and Daniel Bryan. The punchline is that Vince McMahon has never finished anything in eighteen seconds if you know what I mean.

Heath Slater is out to declare it's Slater Time, he's sick of the past superstars. But you're wrong, it's time, it's time, it's VADER TIME. Big Van F'N Vader makes his way down in 2012 on WWE RAW and it's glorious.

Vader pinned Heath Slater

Down from the Rocky Mountains, its Vader. And he looks pretty good. Vader destroys Heath Slater. This is how Vader should have been booked the first go around as an absolute killer. Vader Bomb murders Slater.

CM Punk and A.J. defeated Daniel Bryan and Kane

A.J. starts making out with Kane in a moment of squick. Punk scores the win with the flying elbow drop on Punk. A.J. punks it up in the ring with the cross legged sit. Everyone is utterly baffled by this crazy woman.

Here comes Vince McMahon. He talks a bit, saying nothing of substances. The Big Show is out, reminding us of his iron clad contract, and says that with his contract, he can be the giant. Show promises to destroy John Cena. John Cena is out to yuck it up and thus my brain turns off immediately to anything he says. That's my new policy, if Cena's character isn't going to be serious, then I doubt I should serious. The short of this is if Johnny is not up to snuff, Vince will say the words. Scuffle leads to Big Show knocking out Vince out. That's where the show ends.

So, yeah, after eighteen hours this show's finally over. Three hours every week July 23rd, God help us all.

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